Numbers and Shapes Discovery Cards; Van Gogh's World of Colour

Here's a good idea. Instead of having everyday conversations with your toddler where counting crops up, and chattering on about the shapes around you, you sit the child down and flash 'Baby Einstein' cards at them. You hold up a photo of two cereal bowls and bark, 'What shape are the bowls?'. Now, tell me, what would you answer? I'm blowed if I know what shape they are. Sort of round with curvy bits, and those bits probably go down inside, and that's a round edge, and that's a sharp edge. There's not enough space here to describe just how bad these cards are, and how harmful they are in their intent. A child forced to spend time on these will learn what a bizarre and meaningless world they are growing up in. Pulp them, I say.

Here's another good idea. Give your toddler (or baby, aged nine months and up) this 'Baby Einstein' board book of badly produced Van Gogh prints to make sense of. Expect your baby to decode swirling landscapes, a jumble of boats, a vase of fading sunflowers, and a dark lane. Focus on the colours of the bad prints, and ask daft questions like 'What time of year do you think it is in this painting - winter, spring, summer or autumn?' Expect your nine-month-old to say, 'Oh, indubitably autumn, mother, as the leaves are turning gold.' Tell me, what kind of snobbish, culture-dead, child-torturing adult would inflict this rubbish on a child? Poor old Van Gogh.